You already know I was stoked for this episode when the first words were “Crush it,” the infamous book by none other than my fave, Gary Vee.
But this episode was less about working your ass off a la Gary Vee, and more about how to manage your mindset to thrive at work, without the tax on your mental and physical well-being.
I talked with Kori Linn, a burnout coach for women in tech who’s passion is to deconstruct the mental blocks we have that drain our resources.
Her tagline? Crush it at work without work crushing you. AMEN!
Kori was inspired to coach women in tech when she saw how the male-dominated culture led women to compensate for their womanhood by exceeding expectations, working longer and harder- at the expense of their health.
Women typically don’t identify as perfectionists, but we tend to mas perfectionism under the guise of perpetual self-improvement. We think, ‘I’m not trying to be perfect, just better.’ But if we are never content with where we are… we are essentially striving to be perfect.
This often happens by default. Our brain absorbs subconscious patterns and programs that exist in our environment. We take in ideas, attitudes, and stories from those around us to form the world as we know it. These programs are mostly automated, and we don’t check them to see if they are true or aligned with our values. That means there is a lot of destructive nonsense floating around in our head... indoctrinated as early as our toddler years, from our parents, teachers, or even media.
In order for us to begin to change that culture, we first have to acknowledge and fix our own mindset so we don’t pass our destructive automatic programs and thought patterns to others.
I love Kori’s approach of deprogramming the junk that lives in our heads by cultivating thoughts of success and resilience.
She shares some tips to fight against those pesky programs, such as thinking on purpose and evaluating our thoughts instead of automatically accepting them as true. Kori also underscores the importance of shifting perspectives, and how to find excitement when your thoughts are proven wrong. Kori encourages us to fight against confirmation bias that keeps us stuck in the same thought processes, especially if they are not ultimately beneficial.
My two biggest takeaways:
Fun gets things done: Done is better than perfect, but in order to not procrastinate our way out of doing things, we need to enjoy the process. We need to find the fun to build momentum in our work. Practice makes progress, which in turn produces results.
Embrace all the emotions: Kori said, it’s not feelings labeled as ‘bad’ (sadness, disappointment, etc) that are the problem, but our resistance to the feelings that create suffering. When we numb the pain, we also numb the joy. Free the feels. The good outweighs the bad.
This episode challenged me to think about the automatic programs I have in my head and how they are holding me back from my potential, and maybe even perpetuating some self-sabotage.
Support of family and friends, and professionals can help us recognize and change patterns that we see within ourselves. However, it is on us to practice the vulnerability and accountability required to grow. Mindset is a muscle.
Of course, I’m also here to support you to overcome your challenges. Please reach out if I can help you in any way.