Self-care isn’t usually the first thing we talk about in the business world. It’s often been more about the hustle & grind, and the courage & determination required to start a business. After all, these things stretch us out of our comfort zones. Yet that is precisely the same reason we need more self-care as entrepreneurs and leaders.
Luckily, the self-care movement is growing and spreading every day. People are starting to recognize that self-care is neither selfish nor is it a luxury. They know that making time for renewal will create more space for them to become stronger and stretch further.
Closely related to self-care is the concept of personal healing. But it’s something that’s a little harder to pinpoint as healing can mean different things for different people. While self-care involves taking care of the basic physical, mental, and emotional needs that all people have, healing is something that goes deeper and is unique to your circumstances.
Personal healing in the world of business is talked about even less than self-care. It’s an important issue yet people tend to dismiss it as irrelevant because society always teaches you to “move on / get over it.” But if you’ve ever felt like you keep hitting the same walls over and over in your business, you may start to wonder what’s really holding you back. Usually, it’s ourselves.
Back then I spoke with Monique Gaffney (moniquegaffney.com) about this topic (this podcast episode). Monique has given hundreds of women the roadmap to heal their past, step into their power, and show up fearlessly to serve the world in their Purpose. I’ve worked with her and have seen her work with others who were getting phenomenal results and radical shifts in their businesses and lives. It happens when we dig a little deeper.
Digging Deeper to Uncover Wounds
If self-care means you create more time and space for renewal… why not also use it to get to the root of your struggles? Think of healing as getting rid of weights you didn’t know you were carrying for the longest time. It goes deeper than self-care in the sense that it will have a more long-lasting effect.
If you’ve wondered why things start out well but later fall into self-sabotaging patterns, then you’ve likely encountered a pattern caused by your root/core wound. Monique specifically helps people identify these core wounds. They come from people, things, or events that shift the trajectory of your life.
Somewhere along the way, at a specific time and place, a false limiting belief was planted in your mind. You’ve probably just kind of learned to live with it as it follows you along like a shadow. However, it may be taking up more of your energy than you think.
“This is who I need to be in order to prove my worth and I won’t be satisfied unless I get that.”
Our limiting beliefs tend to sound something like that. They tell us that we’re never enough, and that we need to fill that hole, which honestly is more like a bottomless pit. This strays us off course from our true path or purpose.
As a knee-jerk reaction to core wounds, people compartmentalize the different areas in their lives. Their work lives are made completely separate from their personal lives, social lives, or even from their “fun” lives. For most of their lives, they pretend their core wounds from one area don’t exist in the other areas. What they don’t know is that it can still seep through the cracks, because it doesn’t exist outside of them—they carry it along with them.
The Keys to Unlocking Doors
We all want to succeed in our businesses and to serve our highest purpose. Yet who gets in our way the most? We do. We limit ourselves because of the stories we tell ourselves based on the things that have happened to us.
So if we limit ourselves, how can we lead our teams to go beyond? We can only lead them as far as we are healed ourselves because we don’t know what’s beyond that. That is why it is our responsibility as entrepreneurs and leaders to heal forward so that others may heal as well.
Monique has made it her mission to help these leaders unlock doors to the opportunities and successes that they crave. Core Wound Healing provides the missing pieces of the puzzle, the keys that unlock those doors. It’s a process that Monique was called to share to others after she has tried to discover what would work for her own healing.
The beauty of this process is that it is highly action-oriented and gives out tangible results. It is also not something vague and mystical—no “hands over your head” type of thing. It takes the real work of identifying the wounds and then planting the new beliefs with forgiveness and gratitude.
Because it’s hard work, there may be times when you don’t want to deal with it. You may ask, “can’t we just skip to the healing part already?” But a good thing to remember is that band-aids don’t fix bullet holes. It’s very crucial to do the whole process step by step, as you can only open each door once you’ve opened the one before it. It takes time, so be patient.
Lead From a Healed Space
When I said the process gives out tangible results, I mean that I have really seen and felt that shift in energy, especially in my interactions with people. I’ve felt physically lighter, like I’ve gone through a little bit of soul surgery. It’s really phenomenal. And for me, that is why it is the ultimate form of self-care.
Speaking of self-care, you’ve all heard of journaling. Well, rather than a cliche, Monique highly recommends it as a great way to release your unhealed energy. You need to just get it all out, process it, and maybe you’ll end up seeing it from a new angle. (If you need more self-care tips, check our quick guide: Self-Care So You Can Care For Others)
Remember, self-care isn’t selfish, nor is it a luxury. And healing is not something to be put off for as long as you can. Your well-being puts everything else at stake. A leader can only lead if she is healed first and that will have a ripple effect within her company. By carrying around things that don’t serve her, she can and will affect everyone around her.
So remember to heal yourself forward, so that your team and your business can go with you to the next level, beyond your imaginable. It will take a LOT of work, but trust me, it is so worth it.
To trailblazing your success,
Connect with Monique:
Core Wound Healing
Connect with Riah:
Client Experience Revolution Podcast